In a few hours, I’ll be interviewed for my very first podcast . . . and my imagination is kicking. 

Howard Fox with SuccessInSight ( ) contacted me a few weeks ago and I’m finally getting around to sitting down with him to talk about my upcoming novel.  This is how I imagine the interview:

H.F.: “Good morning. Can you describe yourself as an author?”

Me: “Arduously reluctant.”

See, I’m off to a terrible start. Maybe I should say that a writer needs to have three traits:  Lots of time, a little extra money and a love of rejection. Because you will never have enough time, and it will be more expensive than you think, but you will get used to the rejection.

H.F.: “Who is your target audience for your book?”

Me: “Anyone who wants to kill themselves, or who has thought about suicide, or lost someone to suicide. Which is pretty much everyone.”

Gotta remember to be more specific.

H.F.: “Give us a catch phrase. What’s your book about?”

Oooh, this one I know.

Me: “Entertainment encourages suicide.”

H.F: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I have no fucking idea. But it sounds tight.”

Actually, I really want to drop the word Kufungisisa somehow into the interview. That would be dope. Or pretentious, not sure. It’s the word for depression in the language of the Shona people of Zimbabwe, and it means Thinking too much.

H.F.: “Has anyone read your book? Did they like it?”

Me: “I hope not. It’s long, dark and depressing.”

I probably won’t say that because I need to stop self-sabotaging my work. I could talk about how I attended a teenage suicide prevention conference and I told this sad-faced kid that I was writing a book about suicide, and he smiled while handing me a business card that simply read – YOU MATTER – and it nearly broke my heart because here I was trying to inspire him to choose life and he flipped it on me, a depressed kid cheering me up. Bastard. 

H.F.: “What’s your next book about?”

Ahhh, everyone asks this but I’m ready because I’ve been working on sci-fi book for about half a decade.

Me: “Currently working on a socially-conscious science fiction trilogy which poses the question, ‘How do you prepare for a test when the questions are unknown, with the fate of humankind at stake?’"

Maybe I shouldn’t answer his questions with a question but I can’t help it. This might be my first, and last, interview so I might as well be honest. So many things to talk about, like the lucky timing of reaching out to publishers; or, how the process of writing a novel is similar to the Process of crisis counseling and how one learns to block transference of pain. 

I could talk about how excited I was in the beginning, 18 months ago when I first heard from the publisher, and how I didn’t care if they printed my book in invisible ink on toilet paper.

Finally, I have no idea what I’ll say because I know one thing for certain. This won’t go as planned since talking about my book never does. For example, during the Discovery Call for this podcast, Howard mentioned a suicide in his family, and also a friend of his had recently lost her husband to suicide.

If I had written a murder-mystery or a harlequin romance, then the conversation would be limited to the book or the process of writing it. But with suicide, any discussion becomes very personal. People talk about their loss, and the ensuing pain and shame. Maybe that’s what I want, a real interaction and a shared experience where the interview is no longer about me but instead about the person asking the questions.

Because then it matters.  Like the card – YOU MATTER.